If you’re going to make a New Year’s Resolution, at least try for something that happens to be a little bit more challenging for the old grey matter than the usual ‘go to gym more’ or ‘don’t eat lard.’ That’s what I’ll be attempting anyway, and this year with a bit more of a vernacular aspect as a challenge:
1.Banned Words: No, don’t worry. Those of you who enjoy a bit of profanity will be relieved to hear that I am not abandoning this particular ‘bad habit.’ Rather, I am going to try and expand my verbal vocabulary a wee bit more on a day to day basis. My children’s primary school have a system which aims to encourage greater verbosity amongst the kids; they have ‘banned words’ which are used far too frequently. The most troublesome offenders – which you will find a teacher’s little green mark next to – tend to be: nice, big, little, boring, hot, cold, lovely, happy, went etc. There are dozens more such offenders when it comes to sloppy synonyms of course, but this year I intend to try and reach for that thesaurus in me head a tad bit more and stop being so ruddy lazy with me words.
2. Dialect Writin’: Gonner be more ovvit. Love me dialect – wevver Lanky or Yorky. Yes, now that mainstream media in the UK is embracing regional accents a lot more, I shall do my utmost to flee from the horrors of Received Pronounciation, whether they be in the verbal, or the written format. Gerrit? Jobs a gudun,
3.Turn a Blind Eye: to the language trends of mainstream society. So, for me, this will be one of the most difficult to carry out. So, for me, I tend to get freaked out by folk what have a rising inflection and who could of written ‘could have’ as it shudda be written instead of ‘could of’, innit? So, for me, this means cringing less when I hear the phrase ‘so, for me’, along with ‘So,’ at the beginning of every sentence. Plus ignoring both rising inflections and various other irritating bloopers that have inevitably become part and parcel of the English language. Yes, I shall turn a blind eye (although you may discern an ever-so-slight shudder.)
And that’s it. Oh no, sorry – I forgot:
4. Speaking in Lists: I knew that this was becoming a bit overused when I overhead my 10 year old speaking to the budgie; “So, for one – you’ve pooed far too much this week, for two – you’re way too noisy and for three, you’ve not showed any appreciatiation for your Christmas present.”
And, finally – at the request of my 14 yr old;
5. Stop criticising the word content of pop music listened to by teenagers. For example – the fact that the word ‘I’ and ‘me’ are used ten times more nowadays than they were in the 1960’s. (“Arrgghh – stop it, Mum! They’re just flippin’ words!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”)
Apparently.
*Happy New Year to ALL those who love dialect and accents*
Nar’then – avvaread:
A couple are playing ‘I spy’ in the kitchen of their home somewhere in Yorkshire.
‘I spy with my little eye something beginning with T’ said the husband.
“Tea pot said the wife.” ‘Nay Lass!’
“Tea towel.” ‘Nay Lass!’
“Toaster.” ‘Nay Lass!’ he said, drumming his fingers on the work top.
“Oh I don’t know” she said at long last “I give in”
‘It’s easy’ he said. ‘It’s t’oven!’
Sarcasm. I also pledged to be less sarcastic. Yeah, right.
I’m bad at starting sentences with ‘And’. And I use ‘so’ too frequently too. So, number three: I gotta hand it to ya, I scrutinize pop song lyrics too. But (another naughty sentence starter) it keeps me from embarrassing myself, because I will be singing along to a pop song in the car, unaware that the singer is using a loada expletives. Sarah will say, “Mum…you know she’s swearing, right?” I guess you’re not bothered about that one…hee hee!
And… So… as I said; I’m a total hypocrite 😉
But – No! – I really DO mind about singing along to the sort of expletives created by others that are tossed into the air and pasted into pop-songs as ‘art.’ Even when I was a hot-headed 18 year old listening to the heaviest metal going, I used to think that bad language in music just sounded totally pathetic.
If a song is playing that happens to be full of the Effs etc, I usually turn it off. Not because I come over all ‘Victoriana’ and disapprove of it, but because I see it as a sign of a really bad piece of creation. No doubt my kids think that I am just an old prudey-pants, but I can argue the case pretty well against that. 🙂 I think the only exception for me in terms of feeling fine about ‘bad language’ in lyrics are the outputs of System of a Down – but that’s probably because the language totally complements the politics and makes far more sense in context.
Although my kids will still say that I am a hypocrite. But then, they’d be a bit odd if they thought anything else of their parent! Ha.