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Barclays! Nowt Wrong With a Bit of Chest-Staring!

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I was a bit gutted to see that in their latest LifeSkills advert, Barclays have opted for the old ‘C’mon kids! If you can’t make effective eye contact – you’ll be on the job scrap heap forever!’ approach. I would have hoped that Barclays – given their oodles of dosh – could have thought a […]

Scotland, Dragons and Don’t Be a Div…

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Families divided over whether Scottish question will be resolved by a YES or a NO vote! Even in England! Even in our Yorkshire and Lancashire neck of the woods! A region of prolific debate and considered discourse … (especially when we start talking about whether you call a certain breaded product a ‘bap’, a ‘teacake’ […]

Roald Dahl, Scottish Independence and Terrorist Infants

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Daughter (10):  It’s Roald Dahl’s birthday today Me: (distracted, as per usual): Sorry? Daughter: Yeah. I always remember it because it’s between my birthday and yours. And we were all told about this at school.  IT’S ROALD DAHL’S BIRTHDAY THIS WEEKEND. Like …. it was the Queen’s birthday or summat! But way better. Obviously. Because […]

Worms and Words

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Certain kid turned DOUBLE DIGITS today. Enjoyed her pressies at the brekkie table (big thrill was being treated to a poached egg… I ask you! Is it a roller-coaster of giddy consumerist excess in this household – or what?) And then it was over to studying the pressies. She was sitting and a-reading the packaging […]

Naked, Exposed … And the Knickers

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Of course, none of the nice writer-chums who encouraged me to write the dratted book and to get it published TOLD me that I would feel all of the above. Why didn’t they explain to me that every time I meet someone who has read the damned thing, I would feel just a tad bit […]

Longing for School (Kicking Off At The Post Office!)

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It’s well depressing for the them, isn’t it? Just look at their mugs on the photo. Gawd help ’em. Having to go back to a life of riley where they receive a free education, free nosh (well…if they’re attending an infant school – from this term onwards) and free access to a whole host of […]