‘It’s KICKING OFF HERE NOW!!’ I heard. Answering the call of a distressed husband, I dashed to look out of our living room window. Our usual stunning view of the Holme Valley. But a new blot on the landscape….
Immediately I spotted two elderly walkers, behooded in a sinister shade of red Goretex. They were SHAMELESSLY TEARING innocent blackberries from the wild bushes opposite our house. I was tempted to knock on the window rather sharply and gesture at them to ‘Oi! Clear Off Up Your Own End!’.
However, Ian wisely pointed out that they both had Nordic walking poles which could have caused no end of damage to our hanging baskets, had things gotten even more out of hand.
I went to grab my camera to get some evidence to show to the police. Perhaps someone would recognise them the next day from the Huddersfield Examiner? Or on next week’s ‘Crimewatch’ even? But the conniving twosome plodded on before we could snap them. Still – you can make out the missing blackberries in this photograph can’t you? And the stains of crushed blackberries which rolled out of their overstuffed pockets looked bloody and desolate across the innocent pavement…
Where will it all end?