I’m not so sure that this happens as much to kids these days. But I had exceptionally thick hair – even my hairdresser hated me as a child. My daughter has inherited a barnet of busy-ness.
So this is a serious list of Bad Things:
BAD THINGS THAT GOT STUCK IN YOUR HAIR:
1. CANDYFLOSS – Looks pretty when they’re twirling the sugary strands, but lick it the wrong way and you’re buggered.
2. HUBBA BUBBA – When your bubble gets too big and too thin and some rotten swine shoves a finger in it.
3. TAR – My brother made me be ‘it’ on a game of hide and seek once and he told ‘it’ that ‘it’ had to close ‘it’s’ eyes against a freshly tarred lamppost. I ruined not only a new egg n’ cress coloured cardigan but also my relationship with my brother (joke, he’s reet, our kid.)
4. GUINEA PIG POO – Every infant classroom in the 1970’s made the swotty kids clean the pets out.
5. SYRUP – From when you added an extra spoonful to your porridge when your mum wasn’t looking
6. BLACKPOOL SEAWEED – Best not to entertain that thought too much.
7. BONFIRE NIGHT TREACLE TOFFEE AND/ OR PARKIN MIX – If you don’t know what Parkin is, you should be ashamed of yourself.
8. COSSACK – Borrowed your dad’s, tried to do the punk-spike thing. It failed. You ended up reeking like a mash-up of Ted Rogers and Dusty Bin.
9. CRIMPING MACHINE – Want boys to fancy you and think you look like Debbie Harry? Best not try and not smell like a singed, mangy old cat then.
10. STICKY-BOBS – By far the WORST THING to get out. Ever. And it was always a boy that chucked them at your hair. Thankfully many of these male culprits lost their own, as they got older. Nature always has its revenge.
