Today, I’ll continue with a few more examples of the strange, twisted and sometimes downright insane, children’s books that produced the current generation of those ‘in power’ in the UK (is there any wonder that Brexit occurred, eh?)
Satan’s Offspring
Amelia Jane was a great big dolly-bully. And after a recent re-reading of the stories, her logic, (lack of) intelligence and her manner reminds me very much of Donald Trump. Just like him, she was an out and out racist too – she was always targetting the underdog and getting the boot in. Still, at least our Amelia usually did get her come uppance. Sadly though – no-one ever ripped the head off this particular dolly or tied her to a dustcart. Shame really.
I preferred ‘My Naughty Little Sister’ who was at least a little bit more loveable. Mind you nothing really bad ever happened to her – unlike the children in this particular story in ‘The Tall Book of Make Believe’. For example, one lad had an everlasting lollipop and he grew so obese that he lived a life of pure misery. And another little girl got dragged under a door by her cheeky brother and for the rest of her life was only half an inch in width. She could cook ruddy good pancakes though, so all was well in the end.
The Public Warning Animals
Remenber those terrifying public service films that the British Government used to show in schools and on the telly? This one features another lion – with rotten teeth (and don’t you just LOVE the fact that the crocodile blames the lion’s mother for ‘not showing him how to brush his teeth properly’. Misogynistic git.)
But along with the Grim Reaper (stay away from water!) and the evil flashing red car (stay away from strangers!) there were plenty of cheery Ladybird books reinforcing the same messages. My copy of Downy Duckling, for example, reminds children to stay away from icy lakes, Silly Downy fell in and got trapped under the ice – although it has to be said that the females yet again got the blame for this – because Mrs Duckling sent her kids off to fetch the pails of water. The lazy bint. And then there was ‘Piggy Plays Truant’ where we were all reminded that if we ever dared to wag-it (or ‘bunk off’ as your own dialect might prefer to name it) you’d end up stuck in an oarless rowing boat in the middle of the North Sea and you’d die of exposure.
And I bet you never tried that, did you? See. It worked.
