Back in the 70’s me and my big bro’ never participated in all of that nativity biblical re-enactment stuff. This could explain a lot of things for me and mine. Like the fact that as a small child I hated those new-fangled advent calendars that came with crappy choccies behind their little doors. The ones […]
Roald Dahl, Scottish Independence and Terrorist Infants
Daughter (10): It’s Roald Dahl’s birthday today Me: (distracted, as per usual): Sorry? Daughter: Yeah. I always remember it because it’s between my birthday and yours. And we were all told about this at school. IT’S ROALD DAHL’S BIRTHDAY THIS WEEKEND. Like …. it was the Queen’s birthday or summat! But way better. Obviously. Because […]
Word Play
SCENARIO ONE Child (aged 9): Mum – why can’t I read the book that you wrote? Me: You know damn we…er I mean… you know why, sweetie. It’s got some swear words in it. Child: What? Like, you’re worried I’m going to go and repeat them to my teacher or something? Me: (wearily) Yes. Something […]
The Cheek of A Cyclist
Sometimes I got for a run down a long country lane. This is a single track frequented by many, many a cyclist. Because the cyclists travel so fast, and in groups – they tend to shout warnings to each other if they see a runner or a walker ahead of them. Sometimes they yell things […]
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