We were on the last minute as per usual and I was shoving my son – clad in his scouting uniform – out of the front door, berating him with; “Hurry up! We’ve got to stop at the Co-op first. I just saw an email from your Scouts leader – everyone needs to bring party […]
World Book Day Shame
Well, it’s World Book Day and I’m Writer in Residence for Kirklees, so I thought I’d flag it with my teens and ask them for their fond recollections of World Book Day in days of yore: SON: School made us dress up. Didn’t you go as Malala? DAUGHTER: Yes, but that was for World Superheroes […]
The Domino Rally of Parents’ Evening
I’m trying to navigate the ridiculously complicated system in order to book an online parents’ evening – with 14 different teachers: ME: (Shouting downstairs) GET UP HERE NOW AND TELL ME WHO YOUR TEACHERS ARE! THE BOOKING SYSTEM OPENS IN 30 SECONDS! SON: (Calling back) Why are you on time for this? You’re never on […]
Real Cultural Entertainment
I recently found a photograph from a few years ago. I got chatting to my 17 yr old lass and my 13 yr old lad about it and said that I loved the photo, but that perhaps some folk would see it and think that “maybe it gives off a whiff of… ‘white saviour.’ You […]
Ben, Jerry, Jerry and Keir
I’m reading something very serious, very political. My son is trying to pretend to be interested in my life, because he wants me to crack open the Ben & Jerry’s Half-Baked. He’s so transparent: SON: Sooo… what cha, reading Mum? ME: Just some revolutionary socialist article about the Labour Party, the concept of labour aristocracy, […]
Hair of The Dog
This is a follow-up to my previous ‘someone mistook my son for a dog in a car’ post. I’m driving my 13 yr old to his grandparents for a few days. He’s not been able to kip there since March 2019 and needs a few reminders: ME: Right. Your grandparents won’t be used to the […]
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