Morrisons car park. It’s a little bit sweltering today.
I’m jogging back to my car and there’s an older woman, unpacking her shopping at the car next to mine. I’m a bit worried that she’ll be the interfering, overly-judgy sort, so I decide to make a point about the fact that I’m not irresponsible and I’d never take silly risks:
ME: (calling into car). I’m back! Only took a couple of minutes. Hope you’ve not died – ha!
WOMAN: Ooh, this heat… It’s awful in a car, int’ it?
ME: I know… yeah…. I was desperate for a wee, so I had to park up. Legged it in to the loos.
WOMAN: Ooh, I hate that.
ME: Yeah. But I left all the windows open… and he’s got water.
WOMAN: Oh, I’m sure he’s fine. I can see him fidgeting around. And I could hear him alright.
ME: Ah, I lent him my phone, he’ll be chunnering over YouTube as per usual.
WOMAN: Ooh, can you trust him with that?
ME: Not really, but needs must. (Calling into car) Anyway – you. Give me that back now.
SON: Aw, Muuum.
WOMAN: Oh! It’s… I thought it was a dog!
ME: What?
WOMAN: All I could see was that hair sticking up. Thought you had a dog in there!
ME: No. Just a 13 yr old son who’s refusing to get his messy hair cut.
SON: (Hanging out car window) I AM here, y’know.
WOMAN Well… I see what you mean now. Do as your mum says, lad. So no-one mistakes you for a dog no more.
