We were on the last minute as per usual and I was shoving my son – clad in his scouting uniform – out of the front door, berating him with; “Hurry up! We’ve got to stop at the Co-op first. I just saw an email from your Scouts leader – everyone needs to bring party […]
Supermarket Giants Undermined By Staff
The guy on the till at Aldi was off on one today – all about the government trying to use Ukraine as an excuse for the horrendous cost in living increases. He ended his rant with “Anyway. Come the revolution, they’ll be first up against the wall. Don’t forget your chops.” It cheered me up […]
Canine Conundrum
Several times a week, at the same time of day, I see these two border collies in the exact same position, here in the Holme Valley. One of them is always ‘standing up’ and leaning against the drystone wall to peer over. The other one just stands there, on the path, gawping upwards. They’re usually […]
World Book Day Shame
Well, it’s World Book Day and I’m Writer in Residence for Kirklees, so I thought I’d flag it with my teens and ask them for their fond recollections of World Book Day in days of yore: SON: School made us dress up. Didn’t you go as Malala? DAUGHTER: Yes, but that was for World Superheroes […]
The Domino Rally of Parents’ Evening
I’m trying to navigate the ridiculously complicated system in order to book an online parents’ evening – with 14 different teachers: ME: (Shouting downstairs) GET UP HERE NOW AND TELL ME WHO YOUR TEACHERS ARE! THE BOOKING SYSTEM OPENS IN 30 SECONDS! SON: (Calling back) Why are you on time for this? You’re never on […]
It’s RUBBISH!
SON: Mum, are you driving me to school this morning? ME: Nope. Petrol shortage. Crisis thing. SON: Oh. Don’t we use gas in our car? ME: Don’t be ridiculous. And I also wish you’d stop saying things like ‘taking out the trash’ and ‘oh, look at the leaves, it’s Fall already’ and ‘I was on […]
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