THE BIG RETURN TO SCHOOL DAY, POST LOCKDOWN 25 WEEKS OF NO SCHOOL. In kitchen with kids:
ME: Oh no! I totally forgot. Your school said I was meant to sit and talk to you about your anxieties and fears – before you go back.
SON: What about? Why? What’s happening?
ME: (Ignoring him. He lives on another planet named MangaWorld so he’s safe. So, I address this to my daughter:) Shall we talk about it now, sweetie?
DAUGHTER: No. When people go on at me not to be anxious, it freaks me out.
ME: Good. I didn’t want to anyway. And I hate being told what to do with my kids.
DAUGHTER: You and Dad just not caring about all of this, is a far better approach.
ME: Well, it’s not that we…
DAUGHTER: Like in Year 7 when we had our first school holiday away from home. All the other kids mums were at the coach, crying. And you had to go work. And Dad just dumped me at the school gates and drove off.
ME: Actually I think I went to the gym that day, y’know. It was too early for work. You were only going to Cornwall though.
DAUGHTER: See? My point exactly.
ME: Well, it was no big deal to you.
DAUGHTER: And on the coach all the girls were crying and they couldn’t understand why I wasn’t bothered about being dumped.
ME: Well, you did all that ‘going away’ stuff from being 6 years old – with holidays.
DAUGHTER: And some girls thought it was really strange that I wasn’t blubbing away and that I was, in fact, very happy.
ME: Well, I think I’d rather have you as that sort of kid. Rather than a wussy basket-case, crying for her mum.
DAUGHTER: Which YOU should know about, because that’s exactly what YOU were, for an entire year, when you went to university.
ME: God, yeah. I was such a mess. I think I broke the record for that. Whenever all the students saw me walking towards the payphone to call home, they didn’t bother queuing behind me. As they knew that I’d be on it, crying for hours. Urgh.
DAUGHTER: I bet they all despised you.
ME: Probably.
DAUGHTER: Ah. Anyway. I don’t need the pep talk.
ME: Fab.
DAUGHTER: We just need our bus fare, please.
ME: Why? I want you to walk home.
DAUGHTER: It takes 35 mins to walk home. And he gets anxious.
ME: What? What about?
SON: Dogs.
DAUGHTER: He’s developed a panic problem since lockdown. Have you not noticed? How he’s always looking out for them? And how he runs off into the bushes if he sees one?
ME: I thought that was because he didn’t like coming face to face with people anymore, when we’re out on a walk.
DAUGHTER: No, that’s me. He goes into the bushes because of the dogs. I follow him because I don’t like interaction with the people.
ME: Great. Come to think of it, maybe I’m 25 weeks overdue on this little talk about ‘anxieties’ with you both…
Another good talk with the kids. You have quite an interaction with them, love hearing their answers. 😂😂
Thanks Hilde – sometimes I think recording conversations between people is more precious than taking photos… 🙂 x